Examples of Boundaries & Burnout in the Bible
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The people who seem to struggle with boundaries the most are those who are kind, empathetic, and in-tune with their emotions. The people in my life who have struggled with boundaries the most are some of the kindest people I know.
For people who are genuinely kindhearted like that, learning how to set boundaries can be a really life-giving tool to have in their toolkit.
Here are two examples of boundary-setting in the Bible.
1. Moses Lightens His Workload
In Exodus 18, Moses spent an entire day serving as the judge for all the Israelites’ disputes. When Moses’s father-in-law (Jethro) came to visit, he was astounded at how heavy Moses’s workload was. He basically told Moses that his workload was too much for one person and that he would get burnt out if he kept that up.
Jethro also pointed out that a burnt-out Moses wouldn’t be good for anyone: neither Moses nor the rest of the Israelites.
As a solution, Jethro suggested that Moses raise up leaders to help him carry the workload. Moses took his advice, and the entire country of Israel was better off for it.
Sometimes we try to take on so much responsibility that it becomes unhealthy for us and the people around us.
2. Paul Sets an Emotional Boundary
In Acts 20, Paul tells the people:
“I have faithfully done my job. If any of you suffers eternal death, it’s not my fault, because I didn’t shy away from declaring everything that God wants you to know.”
—Acts 20:26–27
Paul understood the phrase “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” He did everything in his power to lead the people to eternal life, but at the end of the day, he realized the rest was up to each individual.
Sometimes we stress out too much about how other people conduct themselves. It’s good to try to help them see the light, but there’s only so much we can do. Worrying about it doesn’t benefit anyone, so its best to implement a boundary.
Unhealthy boundaries
While maintaining boundaries can definitely be a life-producing practice, it can also be taken too far which would turn it into a life-deteriorating practice.
One girl in my small group recently pointed out that we can sometimes use the “boundaries card” as a license to be selfish.
“Sorry, I’m not gonna help you move tomorrow because I want to stay home and watch anime.” #boundaries
She said that when she maintains boundaries she feels like her capacity to love people is being suppressed. She argued that Jesus never used boundaries as an excuse to get out of helping people.
I loved hearing her challenge the mainstream outlook on boundaries, because I think that both extremes can be unhealthy.
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