Online Dating Tips from a Former Serial Dater (Now Happily Married!)
I did a lot of online dating.
In the early days, it was Tinder… then Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, Match.com, and Hinge. (My mom even signed my up for eHarmony, which was the platform I liked the least!) Over the course of about 10 years, I probably sent a million messages on dating apps, went on a ton dates, scored a number of girlfriends—and finally found my wife!!
Needless to say, I gained a lot of experience when it comes to online dating. Many people view online dating as a drag, but I actually really enjoyed it! (And I got pretty good at it.)
If you're looking to improve your online dating game, here are my best tips to help you find your perfect match.
Online Dating Mindset: How to Stay Positive and Have Fun
1. Don’t Take it Too Seriously
When I first started online dating, I would find someone I liked and low-key fall in love with them before even sending the first message. (Turns out that’s not the best tactic!) Overthinking kills the fun. Instead, relax and focus on being yourself.
2. Enjoy the process.
Once I lightened up, I started having more fun. Online dating gives you access to interesting people, meaningful conversations, and even some hilarious moments. Take it as a fun journey rather than a high-stakes mission. Even if it doesn’t work out with one person, there will be more in the future.
3. Don’t get discouraged
Online dating is a numbers game. You may need to message a lot of people before finding a solid connection. If someone doesn’t reply, move on—there are plenty of other awesome people out there who will be a better match. I got ignored loads of times, but instead of letting that discourage me, I kept trying and eventually found my wife.
How to Set Up an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
4. Express yourself
I spent a lot of time tweaking my profile, and that’s because your profile should really showcase who you are. I wanted to find a way to show my goofy side, my deep side, and even my nerdy side. The more authentic you are, the more likely you’ll attract the right person.
5. Use a variety of pics.
As they say, “A picture’s worth a thousand words.” That’s why you should use a variety of pics:
An active shot (to show you aren’t ALWAYS a couch potato)
Pics w friends (to show you have some)
Pics of you smiling (to show that you have most of your teeth)
A close-up (for a clear view of your face)
A full-body shot (gives an honest representation of you)
6. Portray yourself realistically
I understand wanting to put your best foot forward, but make sure you portray yourself in a way that’s realistic. (I remember meeting up with girls who didn’t even look like their profiles!) You also don’t want to exaggerate your lifestyle. If you're a homebody, don’t pretend to be an adventurer. Honesty builds trust and prevents disappointment later.
Best Online Dating Conversation Starters and Strategies
7. Lead with something unique
A simple “Hey there” won’t cut it. The most attractive people on dating apps get flooded with messages daily. To stand out:
Reference something specific from their profile.
Ask a fun or intriguing question.
Make them laugh—humor is a great icebreaker!
8. Talk about deal-breakers early
I once wasted time on someone I was crazy about—only to later realize we had completely different life goals. Learn from my mistake. Identify your non-negotiables and bring them up early to avoid unnecessary heartache.
9. Meet in person sooner rather than later
Messaging for weeks or months can create false expectations. More than once, I built up excitement for someone online—only to meet them and feel zero chemistry. If you’re vibing with someone, suggest an in-person meetup sooner rather than later. (Bonus: Many people appreciate the direct approach!)
Final Thoughts: Finding Your Perfect Match Online
Online dating can be an exciting, rewarding experience—if you approach it with the right mindset and strategy. Be yourself, stay patient, and enjoy the journey. With the right attitude and a few smart moves, you just might find your person
